Couple therapy

Do We Need Couples Therapy? All We Do Is Fight

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Written by Emma Reliason

B.A. - Psychologist

16 Jun, 2022

No matter how incredible your relationship may be, arguments are unavoidable.

But, what about if your relationship isn’t so picture-perfect?

You may be going through a rough patch with your partner and feel as though it may never end. Arguments are one thing, but when those arguments seem to happen more often than not, it may be time for professional help.

Maybe you feel like whenever you try to fix things, it just makes it worse. Or, perhaps, you feel as though your concerns aren’t being heard and the relationship has begun to lean one-sided.

If this sounds like you and your partner, you may need couples therapy.

Couples therapy can bring joy back into a sick and dying relationship, and I’m here to explain to you how.

First, you need to acknowledge your need for couples therapy in the first place. Let’s talk about what to look for so you can decide if this course of action is right for you.

An overview of couples therapy

As the name suggests, couples therapy is a form of counselling in which a trained professional can guide couples in a relationship, marriage, or separation down a path of healing and recovery.

A couple's counsellor is trained to remain unbiased, as they provide a safe space for each partner to express issues they may be having within the relationship. More often than not, surface issues (i.e: my partner never does the dishes!) are simply a symptom of a much deeper underlying problem. Couples therapy can uncover what that root cause is, and work together with you and your partner to fix it.

If you feel hesitant to begin couples therapy, rest assured by this statistic: An Australian study of couples counselling found that 75% of participants found success and restoration in their relationships after treatment.

4 signs you may need couples therapy

So, how can you tell if you and your partner need professional help to resolve your issues? Here are the biggest warning signs that signal your relationship needs couples therapy.

  1. Your Relationship Has Little Communication

  2. You Or Your Partner Have Started To Lead Separate Lives

  3. You Or Your Partner Have Begun To Consider Infidelity

  4. Your Sex Life Has Become Non-Existent

Your Relationship Has Little Communication

Being able to communicate your feelings clearly and effectively is one of the most important skills to develop in a relationship. Since healthy communication is so incredibly important for a relationship to thrive, a disconnect in this area is one of the biggest red flags signalling something is off.

When communication is lacking, resentment and unresolved tension can boil just below the surface. This can make any conversation incredibly difficult, and result in an unnecessary argument.

Lack of communication is often the root cause of explosive, or over the top arguments that seem to happen on a daily basis.

Communication takes time and effort to repair. A therapist can guide the conversation so both sides feel seen, and heard.

You Or Your Partner Have Started To Lead Separate Lives

When communication and intimacy begin to go downhill, you may find yourself living together as roommates rather than as a couple.

While personal space and time apart are healthy, if you find you and your partner no longer strive to enjoy time together as you once did, it may be time for couples therapy.

Couples therapy can help you and your partner understand what has caused the disconnect at the root of this newfound independence, and encourage activities to bring your relationship back together again.

You Or Your Partner Have Begun To Consider Infidelity

Feeling unhappy in a relationship has led many partners to cheat, as they look for love and intimacy elsewhere. It’s not enough to ignore these feelings, as the more unhappy you become, the stronger those intrusive thoughts come about.

Many couples get swept up in the day to day tasks of life and begin to put their relationship on the back burner.

Through guidance from a professional couples therapist, you and your partner can recognize what is causing these feelings of infidelity, so you can stop them before making a decision you’ll regret.

Your Sex Life Is Non-Existent

Sex can be thought of as a thermometer for your relationship. The more unhappy and distant partners become, the less time they spend prioritizing intimacy and connection.

In addition, lack of sex can be incredibly hurtful if it’s one-sided. If one partner continues to try and keep this connection alive, they can begin to feel rejected and resentful towards the other.

Talking about sex can be an uncomfortable topic for some, even with a partner you’ve known for years. Utilizing the guidance of a couples therapist can help navigate those tricky conversations in order to get the most out of them.

It’s Important To Not Give Up

Every relationship is salvageable, as long as both partners put in the time, effort, and intention to repair it.

Couples therapy is a fantastic way to gain an outside perspective, learn new methods of communication, and navigate topics that may have never come up at home.

If you’re wondering where to find couples therapy, consider Talked - Australia's #1 online platform for therapy. Talked can match you with a therapist trained and eager to help you and your partner return to the love you once had. Don’t give up just yet, allow Talked to guide you in transforming your relationship from the inside out.

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Emma Reliason

B.A. - Psychologist

Emma is an accomplished writer with a passion for mental health. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology where she gained insight into why people think, feel and behave the way they do.

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