Parenting styles & how they shape your child

Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding roles, but it also comes with daily challenges and countless decisions. From how we discipline our kids to how much independence we allow, our approach can have long-term effects on a child’s mental, emotional, and social development.

In this article, we’ll explore the four types of parenting, their impact on children, and how you can adopt strategies to build a healthier, happier family.

Whether you’re a new parent or navigating the teenage years, making intentional shifts in your parenting style can strengthen your relationship and better meet your child’s changing needs.

What are parenting styles?

Parenting styles refer to the general approach parents and caregivers take in guiding and setting boundaries for their children. These styles influence how they communicate, discipline, set expectations, and offer emotional support.

Originating from the pioneering work of psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s, the concept was later expanded by researchers like Maccoby and Martin, who added further nuance to Baumrind’s model. The image below provides an overview, but we’ll discuss it in greater detail in the section that follows.

These styles go far beyond the toddler years—they shape a child’s cognitive, emotional, and social development well into adulthood. Below are some research findings that support the influence of parenting on children, adolescents, and adults:

🟢 Authoritative parenting style is positively associated with empathy between toddlers and their peers [1]

🟢 Parent-child attachment is a strong predictor of adolescents’ mental health [2]

🟢 Adolescents who perceive their parents as authoritative are more likely to develop high self-efficacy and higher intention to do well in school [3]

🟢 Adults who grew up in an authoritative home tend to have better psychological wellbeing and fewer depressive symptoms [4] 

🟢 High parental control tends to result in a negative self-image in women but may have more positive effects on men [5]

🟢 There’s a strong correlation between permissive & uninvolved parenting styles and problematic behaviours among children [6]

🟢 Negative parenting styles—characterised by low emotional support, limited involvement, and strict control and discipline—have been linked with a range of mental health challenges in adolescents, including depression, anxiety, and aggression [7]

The four Baumrind parenting styles

Let’s explore the different parenting styles below. Note that most parents don’t follow just one style all the time. You might find yourself being firmer in some situations and more relaxed in others. That’s completely normal. 

However, one style tends to come through more often and shape the overall way you relate to your child.

1. Authoritative parenting

This style is widely regarded as the most balanced and effective. Authoritative parents set clear expectations but are also warm, responsive, and open to discussion. They encourage independence while offering guidance and support.

Key traits:

• Clear rules and consistent boundaries

• Open, two-way communication

• Use of reasoning instead of harsh punishment

• Encouragement of problem-solving and autonomy

Impact on children:

Children raised in authoritative households tend to develop strong emotional regulation, high self-esteem, and good social skills. They often feel secure and respected, which helps them become confident, independent thinkers.

Sample scenario:

When a child breaks a rule, an authoritative parent explains why the rule exists and follows through with a fair consequence, offering support to help the child learn from the experience.

2. Authoritarian parenting

Unlike the authoritative approach, authoritarian parenting is strict, rigid, and less emotionally responsive. Rules are enforced without explanation, and obedience is expected without question.

Key traits:

• High expectations with low warmth

• Rules are non-negotiable

• Discipline is often harsh or punitive

• Limited open dialogue with children

Impact on children:

Children in authoritarian homes may appear well-behaved but often struggle with self-confidence and emotional expression. They may become anxious, overly compliant, or rebellious over time.

Sample scenario:

If a child questions a rule, an authoritarian parent may respond with “Because I said so,” rather than providing an explanation or space for discussion.

3. Permissive parenting

Permissive parents are warm and affectionate but often struggle to set and enforce boundaries. They tend to avoid conflict and let children make many decisions for themselves, even when they’re not ready for that level of responsibility.

Key traits:

• High emotional warmth but low expectations

• Few rules or inconsistent boundaries

• Limited consequences for misbehaviour

• Strong desire to be liked by their children

Impact on children:

While these children often feel loved and supported, they may struggle with impulse control, authority, and self-discipline. They might also find it difficult to cope with limits or structure in other settings, like school or work.

Sample scenario:

A permissive parent might let their child skip homework because they don’t want to cause stress, even if it leads to falling behind academically.

4. Uninvolved (neglectful) parenting

This style is defined by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s emotional and physical needs. Uninvolved parents provide little guidance, structure, or affection, often due to external stressors, mental health challenges, or a lack of parenting knowledge or support.

Key traits:

• Low responsiveness and low expectations

• Minimal interaction or supervision

• Emotional and physical needs often go unmet

• Parenting may be inconsistent or disengaged

Impact on children:

Children raised in uninvolved homes are at higher risk for mental health issues, academic struggles, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. They may feel rejected or invisible, which can affect their self-worth and long-term development.

Sample scenario:

An uninvolved parent may not be aware of their child’s daily routines, social struggles, or school performance and may not offer emotional support when the child is distressed.

What’s the most effective parenting style?

Research consistently points to authoritative parenting as the approach most closely linked to positive outcomes.

Authoritative parents combine firm expectations with warmth, respect, and open communication. They guide rather than control, offering structure while encouraging their child’s independence and individuality.

But while authoritative parenting is generally the most beneficial, it's not a rigid template. Children are unique, and so are their needs. The most effective parenting happens when we’re flexible and responsive, especially in the face of learning differences, mental health challenges, or developmental conditions.

Parenting for neurodiverse & differently-abled children

Children with ADHD, autism, anxiety, or learning disabilities often benefit from tailored strategies that still reflect the core values of authoritative parenting: support, structure, and empathy.

Examples of adjustments may include:

• Using clearer routines and visual cues for children who struggle with executive functioning

• Offering extra patience and emotional support during transitions or stressful situations

• Breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps

• Prioritising predictability and consistency, especially for children with sensory sensitivities

• Replacing traditional punishments with collaborative problem-solving or positive reinforcement

The goal isn’t to abandon your parenting style but to personalise it. A child with learning difficulties may need more repetition or encouragement. A child with anxiety may need more reassurance and slower transitions.

Adapting your approach doesn’t mean being less consistent—it means being more effective.

Navigating parenting differences with your partner

Parenting doesn’t just affect your kids—it can also shape the relationship you have with your partner or co-parent. When you're mostly on the same page, things tend to run more smoothly. Shared values around things like boundaries, communication, and how to handle tricky moments can help you feel like a team.

However, it’s totally normal for parents to have different styles. Maybe one of you leans more toward structure and routine, while the other prefers a gentler, go-with-the-flow approach. These differences can sometimes cause tension, especially when you’re both tired or feeling overwhelmed.

The key is staying connected and talking things through. Even if you don’t agree on everything, working out shared goals (like raising kind, confident kids) can help you find middle ground. And if things start to feel tough, chatting with a family therapist, couples counsellor, or a parenting coach can make a big difference.

Final thoughts

Understanding your parenting style is a meaningful step toward raising confident, emotionally healthy kids. No one parents perfectly—and that’s okay. What matters most is being open to growth.

By leaning toward a more balanced, authoritative approach, you can build stronger connections, improve communication, and create a more supportive environment for the whole family.

References:

1. He, Y. (2023). The Influence of Parenting Style on the Ability of Children to Empathize with their Peers. SHS Web of Conferences 174, 02011. doi: 10.1051/shsconf/202317402011

2. Tan R, Yang Y, Huang T, Lin X and Gao H. (2023). Parent–child attachment and mental health in young adolescents: A moderated mediation analysis. Front. Psychol. 14:1298485. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1298485

3. Hayek J, Schneider F, Lahoud N, Tueni M, & de Vries H. (2022). Authoritative parenting stimulates academic achievement, also partly via self-efficacy and intention towards getting good grades. PLoS One. 2022 Mar 30;17(3):e0265595. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0265595. PMID: 35353817; PMCID: PMC8967044.

4. Rothrauff T,  Cooney T, & An, J. (2009). Remembered parenting styles and adjustment in middle and late adulthood. The Journals of Gerontology. Series B, Psychological sciences and social sciences. 64. 137-46. doi: 10.1093/geronb/gbn008. 

5. Wilhelm K, Gillis I, & Parker G. (2016). Parental bonding and adult attachment style: The relationship between four category models. Int J Womens Health Wellness 2:016. doi: 10.23937/2474-1353/1510016

6. Widiastuti N, Hatimah I, Sudiapermana E, & Saepudin A. (2025). The Influence of Parenting on Problematic Behavior in Children. Journal of Nonformal Education, 11(1), 76-90. doi: 10.15294/jone.v11i1.2412

7. Ziqian, W. (2023). The relationship between parenting style and depressive symptoms during adolescence. SHS Web of Conferences 180, 03028. Doi: 10.1051/shsconf/202318003028