Raising a toddler: Mental health tips for mums & dads

Raising a toddler can be a whirlwind. One moment they’re snuggling into your lap, and the next, they’re in tears because their banana broke in half. Their energy, clinginess, emotional outbursts, and endless curiosity are all part of this intense and important stage of development. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Whether you’re experiencing toddlerhood for the first time, juggling a baby and a toddler, or parenting children across different ages, the emotional and mental demands can feel constant. You’re figuring out how to care for your child while also trying to look after yourself, and that’s a lot to carry.

This guide offers practical, compassionate tips to help you support your mental health while raising a toddler who feels safe, seen, and loved.

But first, what’s happening in toddlerhood?

Toddlerhood, which covers ages one to three, is a period of rapid development and change. Your child is developing their sense of self, learning to navigate emotions, and seeking both independence and comfort.

Here are some things parents can expect during this stage:

• Emotional development is front and centre. Toddlers feel deeply but lack the tools to understand and manage those feelings. This often shows up as tantrums, meltdowns, or emotional outbursts.

• Language and communication are improving, but frustration can spike when toddlers can’t clearly express what they want.

• Imaginative play becomes a key way for children to explore their world and process emotions.

• Testing boundaries is common as toddlers develop autonomy and learn cause and effect.

Some children may experience heightened sensitivities, more frequent meltdowns, or a stronger need for routine and support. Each child is different and develops at their own pace. But if you suspect that your child is showing signs of neurodivergence, it’s ideal to consult a GP, a pediatrician, or a child psychologist as soon as you can.

Mental health tips for parents raising toddlers

If you’ve ever felt like parenting is going to take away sanity, know that you’re not alone! The toddler stage can be demanding, but there are ways to protect your wellbeing while supporting your child’s growth.

1. Welcome outbursts as part of development

Big emotions are part of healthy toddler development. Tantrums and meltdowns often happen because your child is overwhelmed, not because they’re misbehaving. Try to stay present and calm, even when their behaviour feels intense. Offering a comforting presence helps them feel safe as they process what they’re feeling.

2. Practice and model emotional regulation

A toddler learns how to handle emotions by watching the adults in their life. When you show calm responses to frustration, like taking a deep breath or stepping away for a moment, you’re teaching your child how to manage their own big feelings. 

But if you often feel overwhelmed, easily triggered, or quick to anger, you’re not alone. Many parents are learning emotional regulation for the first time while raising their kids. Speaking with a therapist can help you understand your own emotional patterns and develop tools to respond more calmly and confidently. Supporting yourself in this way is one of the most powerful things you can do for your child, yourself, and your family.

3. Keep routines predictable

Toddlers feel safer and more settled when their day follows a predictable pattern. Routines help ease transitions and reduce meltdowns, especially around meals, naps, and bedtime. They also create a natural way to teach self-care habits, like brushing teeth, washing hands, and getting ready for bed. 

4. Explore different parenting styles

Every family is different, and so is every toddler. Whether you’re drawn to gentle parenting approaches or something more structured, the most important thing is consistency and care. Having open conversations with your partner about your parenting style can help you support each other and your child.

5. Use praise to support confidence

Praise can build self-esteem and reinforce positive behaviour, especially when it focuses on effort rather than outcomes. Instead of saying “Good job,” try something more specific like, “You worked really hard to clean up your toys.” This encourages persistence and helps your toddler feel proud of their effort.

It’s also important to recognise emotional growth, such as calming down after frustration or sharing with a sibling. At the same time, try not to overpraise every action. Too much praise can lose its meaning and make children dependent on external approval. Aim for encouragement that feels genuine and balanced.

6. Encourage imaginative play

Imaginative play is more than entertainment. It allows your toddler to process experiences, explore feelings, and learn problem-solving. Join in when you can, even for a few minutes. Following their lead during play strengthens your bond and helps your child feel heard.

7. Limit screentime

Screens can be useful for a short break or downtime, but it’s important to find a healthy balance. The Australian Department of Health recommends no more than one hour of screen time per day for children aged two to five. During screentime, choose quality content and try to watch with your child when possible so you can talk about what they’re seeing.

8. Create a calm-down plan

Help your toddler learn to manage big emotions by creating a calm-down space or routine. This might include a favourite book, a sensory toy, or a simple breathing technique. 

When toddlers feel out of control, having a calm-down plan gives them something familiar and comforting to turn to.

9. Talk about feelings often

Talking about emotions regularly helps toddlers make sense of their own experiences. Use simple words to describe what you see: “You’re sad because your toy broke,” or “You look proud of your drawing.” Over time, this emotional language helps reduce frustration and improve communication.

10. Share the mental load

The mental load of parenting (remembering, planning, and managing everything) can quickly become overwhelming, especially if it feels one-sided. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or even frustrated with your partner or co-parent, it’s a sign to check in rather than push through.

Have regular, honest conversations about how you’re coping and what support you each need. Aim to share responsibilities in a way that feels fair. When both parents feel seen and supported, it strengthens your relationship and creates a calmer environment for your child.

11. Try to divide tasks reasonably

When parenting as a couple, try to play to each other’s strengths. One of you might be better at handling bedtime, while the other excels at preparing meals. Dividing tasks doesn’t have to be equal, but it should feel fair. Supporting each other and being flexible makes daily life smoother.

12. Use consistent and comforting language

Reassuring words and phrases can help toddlers feel secure. Saying things like “It’s okay,” “I’m right here,” “Let’s try again,” or “You’re safe” during stressful moments can reduce anxiety. When these phrases are used regularly, they become emotional cues that help your child feel supported.

13. Make time for yourself

Caring for a toddler can leave little space for your own needs, but looking after yourself is essential. Even short breaks, quiet moments, or asking for help can make a big difference to your wellbeing.

It’s also important to make time for your relationship. A walk together, a shared meal, or simply catching up after bedtime can help you reconnect. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, struggling with your mood, or feeling distant from your partner, speaking with a therapist can help you reset and feel more supported.

14. Focus on connection, not on doing everything right

It’s easy to feel pressure to do everything perfectly -- whatever “perfect” means for you.  But toddlers don’t need perfection. They need presence, patience, and love. Focus on moments of connection, like reading a book together or sharing a cuddle. These simple interactions are what shape your child’s emotional security.

Final thoughts

The toddler years are full of challenges, but also opportunities for growth and for strengthening your relationship with your child and partner. By responding with empathy, supporting emotional development, and caring for your own mental health, you can build a strong foundation for your child and your family.

If parenting feels overwhelming, you don’t have to go through it alone. Talked connects Australian parents with experienced therapists who understand the demands of raising young children. Whether you’re looking for emotional support, strategies for managing tantrums, or help balancing work and parenting, our team is here to support you and your family’s wellbeing.