Does "rejection therapy" treat anxiety?

If you've ever come across someone on TikTok or Instagram asking strangers for strange favours or making out-of-the-blue requests, you may have seen what's being called "rejection therapy."

The idea is simple: ask for something where you're likely to be told no, and get used to the discomfort. Over time, the thinking goes, you’ll become less afraid of rejection and more confident in yourself.

For anyone dealing with social anxiety or low self-esteem, this trend might feel promising. After all, facing fears is a proven therapeutic approach. But does this trend actually work? Is it safe? And how does it compare with exposure therapy, the established treatment for social anxiety?

Is “rejection therapy” a real therapy?

Rejection therapy usually refers to a self-made challenge where you intentionally seek rejection. You might ask a stranger for a free coffee, or request a tour around a building you don't work in. The goal is to get used to hearing "no" so that it feels less painful over time.

This isn’t a formal therapy recognised by psychologists or mental health professionals. There's no clinical guidebook or treatment plan that follows the "rejection therapy" model. Instead, it's a trend that borrows parts of psychological principles and mixes them with social media challenges.

How it compares to exposure therapy

Exposure therapy is a proven treatment used in managing anxiety, including social anxiety.

It involves gradually and systematically facing situations that you find anxiety-provoking. The key is that it happens in a safe space, often with a therapist who supports you in building coping skills and confidence as you go.

The purpose is not to overwhelm you, but to gently challenge the beliefs and behaviours that keep anxiety in place. Exposure therapy is carefully paced and tailored to your needs.

And while rejection therapy might seem similar on the surface, it's missing some key elements: professional support, a gradual plan, coping skills, and a focus on safety and reflection.

Why the word “therapy” can be misleading

Calling something therapy suggests that it’s safe, well-researched, and designed to help. Rejection challenges, especially when shared online, often skip the careful planning that makes real therapy effective.

You might try a bold challenge before you’re ready, or feel worse if the outcome is more painful than expected. Without a support system or skills to manage the emotional impact, these experiences can reinforce the very fears you’re trying to change.

Can rejection therapy help with social anxiety?

Done thoughtfully, small rejection challenges can help you test the beliefs that drive your anxiety. You might realise that rejection doesn’t feel as devastating as you expected, or that a “no” doesn’t mean you’re unlikable.

This process reflects the core idea behind exposure therapy: avoidance fuels anxiety, and facing fears can help shift it. A rejection-focused challenge can, in some cases, help build tolerance to discomfort and encourage you to take social risks.

The risks of trying it without support

Rejection therapy doesn’t come with the structure or safeguards that exposure therapy does. You might try a challenge that’s too intense too soon. You might internalise a rejection as personal failure. You might not have the tools to work through what comes up afterwards.

Some people have attachment wounds or past experiences that make rejection especially painful. Others already feel highly self-critical. For these reasons, rejection challenges can sometimes deepen shame rather than reduce fear.

If your challenges are designed for attention or social media, they might also shift your focus toward validation rather than growth. That can leave you more anxious, not less.

How to try a rejection-based challenge safely

If you're interested in experimenting with rejection challenges, here are some guidelines to help keep the experience safe and supportive.

1. Start with a safe space

Choose situations that feel manageable. This could be asking a friend for a favour, or requesting a small thing in a familiar environment. Avoid jumping straight into high-stakes or public settings, especially if your anxiety is strong.

Think about what feels emotionally safe, not just physically. You want to be able to reflect afterwards, not shut down or spiral.

2. Plan your steps

Just like exposure therapy builds from easy to harder tasks, map out your own ladder. Begin with something small, then slowly increase the challenge as you gain confidence.

Make sure you’re in the right mindset and feel relatively settled before starting. Trying something like this when you're already distressed or overwhelmed can lead to more harm than good.

3. Reflect and build insight

After each challenge, take time to ask yourself questions like:

• What did I expect would happen?

• What actually happened?

• What thoughts or feelings came up?

• Did this experience challenge any distorted beliefs I’ve been carrying?

Writing your thoughts down or discussing them with a therapist can deepen the impact and help you spot patterns in how you respond to rejection.

4. Know when it’s not the right fit

If you find yourself feeling worse, avoiding more, or feeling consumed by shame or fear after trying a challenge, it’s a sign to pause.

Challenges that activate trauma or intensify anxiety should be approached with professional support. A psychologist can help you untangle what’s happening and guide you toward safer, more effective methods.

How it compares to structured exposure therapy

So, can rejection therapy actually treat anxiety?

No, rejection therapy cannot treat anxiety. While a person might gain some benefits from it, this “rejection therapy” trend is not designed to support the deep emotional work that anxiety often requires, and it doesn’t teach the skills that make social challenges manageable over time.

Exposure therapy, by contrast, is backed by evidence, grounded in psychological science, and led by someone trained to help you handle the discomfort that comes with growth.

Still, if you’re already in therapy or working on your anxiety issues with support, carefully chosen rejection challenges might add something useful to your process. The key is to treat them as practice opportunities, not as proof of your worth or quick fixes.

Final thoughts

Rejection is part of life, and learning to tolerate it can be freeing. But it takes care, timing, and reflection.

If you want to explore that space, go slowly. Stay grounded in what feels manageable. Reflect after each step. And don’t hesitate to involve someone you trust.

Social anxiety often runs deeper than just fear of hearing "no." It’s shaped by patterns of avoidance, beliefs formed over time, and emotional responses that need attention and care.

If trying rejection therapy sparks distress or intensifies shame, please know that there are safer, more supportive ways to work through it. A psychologist can help you build your self-confidence and reduce anxiety in ways that are safe, sustainable, respectful, and tailored to your concerns.