Helpful tips to reduce holiday stress

The holidays can bring conflicting waves of emotions and worries. On one hand, you might be feeling joy and excitement towards celebrating Christmas or the coming New Year, while on the other, you might also be stressed about showing up to parties, spending money on gifts, or seeing relatives you’d rather not see or talk with.

If the holiday stress is starting to bubble up, this guide hopes to help you plan ahead, protect your space, and approach the season in a more mindful, restorative way.

Why the holidays tend to be stressful

Holidays are rarely as simple as they’re portrayed. For some of us, the build-up to Christmas and New Year can intensify everyday stress and bring unresolved emotions to the surface.

Here are common reasons why holidays can be tricky:

• Family dynamics and conflict: Being around family doesn’t always feel safe or joyful. Tension, unresolved issues, or past conflict can turn a family gathering into something you endure, not enjoy.

• Toxic family members: Spending time with people who ignore your boundaries, stir up conflict, or drain your energy can leave you feeling anxious, frustrated, or emotionally spent.

• Financial stress: The pressure to spend on things like gifts, food, travel, and events can be relentless. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling short or going over budget just to keep up.

• Grief and loneliness: The holidays can deepen the ache of missing someone, whether through death, distance, or estrangement. Seeing others celebrate can make that pain feel sharper.

• Compassion fatigue: If you’re a carer, in a helping profession, or often the emotional support person for others, the extra demands of this season can leave you feeling empty.

• Social anxiety: Large gatherings, small talk, and unpredictable group dynamics can be exhausting if you struggle with social anxiety or need more quiet to recharge.

• Summer depression: Though less talked about than its winter counterpart, summer depression is real and can worsen the holiday stress. The heat, disrupted sleep, and pressure to be constantly upbeat can all contribute to a persistent low mood.

How to reduce and manage holiday stress

There’s no single solution that fits everyone, but there are practical ways to make the season more manageable. These strategies can help you stay grounded and emotionally safe.

1. Plan ahead, but keep things realistic

If you can, start your planning well before mid-December. Writing down your budget, event schedule, gift list, and food preparation tasks makes it easier to see what’s realistic and what can be adjusted.

Avoid aiming for a “perfect” holiday, as perfectionism during this time can create unnecessary pressure. Not every meal needs to be elaborate, and not every gift needs to be expensive. Instead, focus on what feels meaningful to you.

2. Set boundaries early

Boundaries are guidelines for what you can and cannot handle. If certain people or situations leave you emotionally exhausted, or they have a reputation for intentionally stirring conflict, it’s absolutely okay to set limits. Here are some practical tips:

• Be clear about your time. You don’t have to attend every event. Choose the ones that align with your energy or those that connect you with people you deeply care about.

• Manage interactions with toxic family members. Think ahead about how you’ll respond if someone crosses a line. It’s okay to excuse yourself from conversations or leave early.

• Avoid known triggers. If certain topics (like politics or parenting) often spark family conflict, steer conversations elsewhere or disengage politely.

• Practise supportive phrases like “I’m not comfortable talking about that” or “I’m taking some time for myself” to your boundaries without creating conflict.

3. Address financial stress before it builds

Money is one of the top stressors during the holiday season. Between gifts, travel, entertaining, and sales pressure, it’s easy to overspend or feel like you’re falling short. If this feels like you, these tips might help:

• Create a spending limit. Decide what you can afford overall and allocate specific amounts to different areas like gifts, meals, travel, decorations, etc.

• Choose low-cost or no-cost traditions. A handwritten card, a shared meal, or a thoughtful gesture can be just as meaningful as a store-bought gift.

• Talk with others. Suggest group gifts, Secret Santa, or no-gift arrangements to reduce pressure. Most people appreciate honesty. Plus, it’s possible that they’re also looking for ways to reduce costs just like you.

4. Take your emotional needs seriously

It’s easy to just focus on everyone else and ignore your own limits in the midst of all the holiday bustle. But pushing through stress or emotional exhaustion? They only often lead to frustration, resentment, or fatigue.

As often as you can, try to pay attention to how you feel before and after social events. Make space for rest, or try to squeeze in a slow day between events and holiday preps.

5. Honour your grief

The holidays can feel painfully different if you’re missing someone or something you love. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, but it does tend to feel heavier around holidays when people usually enjoy time together.

Acknowledge your loss, give yourself permission to feel, and reach out for support. Skip some traditions, if needed, but try not to isolate yourself or keep yourself from experiences other than grief.

Final thoughts

You don’t need to pretend the holidays are joyful if they’re not. The reality is, for many people, this time of year brings pressure, conflict, grief, and exhaustion — all made worse by unrealistic expectations.

What you can do is approach the season with more care. Boundaries, rest, emotional awareness, and honest conversations with yourself and others can help you go through the holidays while protecting your wellbeing.