Are you having a midlife crisis?

The idea of a midlife crisis has been around for quite some time, but what it actually means has shifted over the years.

The term was first introduced by psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in the 1960s. He used it to describe a period of emotional distress that some people experience in midlife, often brought on by a growing awareness of ageing and mortality.

These days, the term is used more broadly. A midlife crisis is not a clinical diagnosis, but rather a common way to describe a phase of deep reflection, emotional upheaval, or identity questioning that can happen between your 40s and 60s. It’s often triggered by life events or inner shifts that prompt you to re-evaluate your choices, your values, and the direction of your life.

Common triggers of midlife crisis

Midlife can bring a wave of changes that affect how people see themselves and their place in the world. These changes often happen gradually, but they can add up and create a sense of emotional tension or uncertainty.

While not everyone will experience a crisis, certain life events or shifts can make this period feel especially challenging or confusing.

1. Awareness of ageing or mortality

You might find yourself more aware of how quickly time is passing. Milestones that once felt distant now seem much closer, and it’s natural to start thinking about what meaningful things you’ve done with your life so far.

2. Physical and hormonal changes

Changes in your energy, sex drive, or how you feel in your body can have a real impact on your confidence. These shifts might make you question how you see yourself and where you fit in the world.

3. Changes in family roles

As your children become more independent, or if you’re caring for ageing parents, your day-to-day life and sense of identity can start to shift. Relationship changes can also leave you rethinking your place in the family or at home.

4. Career stagnation or dissatisfaction

You may feel like you’ve hit a ceiling at work or lost interest in what once felt fulfilling. Even a sudden job loss can lead to deep questions about what you want from the next chapter of your life.

5. Unmet expectations

It’s common to look back on the things you hoped to achieve by now. Dreams that didn’t unfold the way you imagined might bring up regret or a sense of loss.

6. Social comparison

Seeing peers make bold changes or appear successful can stir up doubts about your own choices. This can lead to pressure to catch up or question if you’re still on the right path.

These triggers don’t always lead to a crisis. For many people, they simply mark a turning point, opening the door to realignment and growth.

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

Not everyone experiences midlife in the same way. Some move through it smoothly, while others feel unsettled or overwhelmed. These signs can help you recognise if you’re experiencing a midlife transition that may need attention.

Midlife crisis in women

Women often move through significant hormonal, relational and personal shifts during midlife. Signs might include:

• A persistent feeling of being emotionally disconnected or unfulfilled

• A desire to reinvent oneself or make major life changes

• Grief over how life has unfolded, particularly around career or family

• A strong pull towards personal freedom or independence

• Changes in sexual desire or interest in emotional intimacy

• Increased awareness of time and a desire to prioritise meaningful goals

These feelings can surface around menopause, after children leave home, or as family dynamics shift.

Midlife crisis in men

Men tend to experience a midlife transition in ways that centre around identity, performance and achievement. Signs might include:

• Regret about past decisions or paths not taken

• A longing to reconnect with earlier versions of the self

• Impulsive decisions aimed at recapturing a sense of vitality

• Emotional withdrawal or disconnection from relationships

• Changes in physical health, sexual function or motivation

• Questions about professional identity and legacy

In both men and women, these signs often reflect a desire for deeper purpose or a more authentic life direction.

How to cope and thrive in midlife?

Going through a midlife crisis is not an easy ordeal. But with willingness to get better, coupled with the right tools and support, this stage of life can become one of the most transformative. Here are some helpful tips to navigate through.

1. Create space for reflection

One of the core principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is learning to sit with discomfort rather than rushing to fix or avoid it. It’s likely going to help you to:

• Acknowledging difficult thoughts and emotions without judgement

• Writing about the questions that keep surfacing

• Noticing patterns of avoidance, such as overworking or emotional withdrawal

Psychological flexibility, which is one of the goals of ACT, can help you adapt to life’s changes while staying aligned with your values.

2. Reconnect with your values

As life shifts, so too do your values. Midlife can be a valuable time to ask yourself what’s important now, not what was important ten or twenty years ago. Some ways to explore this include:

• Journalling about the people, experiences or causes that matter to you

• Reflecting on your proudest or most meaningful moments

• Exploring the PERMA model from positive psychology, which includes Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and Accomplishment

Reconnecting with your values provides a foundation for setting new goals and making decisions that feel purposeful.

3. Intentionally care for yourself

Self-care might sound too cliche nowadays, but it’s an essential foundation to feeling grounded and able to show up to your daily life.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Sometimes, the most powerful changes start small. You might begin by:

• Choosing meals you actually love and enjoy

• Allotting more time for rest or creative projects

• Signing up for a class you’ve always been curious about

• Reaching out to an old friend or mentor for a conversation

These small shifts can create momentum and help restore a sense of intention, meaning, and connection to your day-to-day life.

4. Prioritise connection and authenticity

Midlife often brings a desire for deeper, more honest relationships. Rather than striving to meet others’ expectations, there may be a stronger pull towards being seen for who you truly are. It would help to:

• Choose and nurture relationships that feel mutual and supportive

• Communicate openly with loved ones about what’s been changing

• Explore new communities, causes, or friendships

5. Support your physical wellbeing

Physical and emotional health are deeply connected. As your body changes, you’ll also need to reassess your habits and routines. This might include:

• Moving your body regularly, in ways that feel sustainable and enjoyable

• Creating consistent sleep patterns

• Making nourishing food choices that support mood and energy

• Reducing or moderating alcohol and stimulant use

These changes don’t need to be perfect to be effective. Focus on small changes, then build upon them as you go.

Should you worry about your mental health?

While many people deal with midlife without serious mental health concerns, others may experience more intense or persistent symptoms that require support.

If you’ve been noticing any of the following in yourself, it might be time to acknowledge the issue and see a therapist for support:

• Low mood that lasts more than two weeks, affecting work, sleep, or relationships

• Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected from things you usually enjoy

• Disturbed sleep or appetite without a clear medical cause, affecting your energy or mood

• You frequently use alcohol or substances to numb, escape, or manage emotions

• You avoid connections, social events, or responsibilities more than usual

These signs could indicate depression, anxiety, or another condition that may be emerging alongside a midlife transition. Reaching out to a professional can help you understand what’s happening and how to untangle yourself from the mental health challenges you’re going through.

Final thoughts

A midlife crisis can feel disorienting, but it often marks a deeper shift rather than a breakdown. It may bring uncomfortable emotions or uncertainty, but it can also signal that you're ready for something different, something more aligned with who you are now.

By paying attention to what feels off, making space for reflection, and addressing what you need to feel better taken care of, you can move through this period with greater confidence, self-understanding, and happiness.

Midlife is not the end of your story. Rather, it can be the point where things begin to make more sense, and when you can redirect yourself to goals and relationships that are more aligned with the person you’ve become.