How to survive and thrive in high school

High school is a rollercoaster. One minute you're acing an assignment, the next you're crying in your room over a maths test. There’s pressure to do well, to fit in, to figure out who you are. All while dealing with changing friendships, late-night study sessions, and social media drama.

But thriving in high school isn’t about being perfect. It’s about building the right habits, finding support, and learning to take care of your mind and body along the way. This guide shares compassionate, practical tips to help you not only survive high school but also thrive in it.

1. Redefine what thriving means for you

You don’t need to be captain of anything, get perfect marks, or have hundreds of friends to thrive. Thriving in high school might mean finally speaking up in class, managing your anxiety, or simply feeling okay most days.

Set your own goals, and don’t measure your worth by someone else’s standards. Remember that our self-worth grows when we honour our own journey, not when we try to live someone else’s.

2. Start with manageable study habits

Cramming isn’t a study strategy. Small, consistent habits are much more powerful.

Aim to study in short blocks, review class material regularly, and ask for help when you’re stuck. If you struggle with motivation or focus, consider talking to a trusted teacher or a school counsellor who can help you develop personalised strategies based on your learning style and mental health needs.

3. Make friends by being interested, not impressive

Building friendships is less about being the funniest or coolest person and more about being kind and curious. Ask people about their interests, notice the quiet ones, and show up authentically. Real friends see who you are, not who you're pretending to be.

If you're struggling socially, a counsellor or a therapist can help you build confidence and improve your social skills. It also helps to join clubs or hobby groups where you can practice speaking with people on topics you love to talk about.

4. Create a personal reset routine

Having a simple routine that helps you feel calm and centred can make a big difference, both on stressful days and even on regular ones. It might be taking a shower, listening to calming music, writing in a journal, or spending a few quiet minutes outside.

These small actions help you check in with yourself and create a sense of stability. You don’t have to wait for a bad day to reset. Building these moments into your routine can help you stay balanced and connected to yourself.

5. Don’t let bad marks break your confidence

Failing a test or bombing an assignment doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means you hit a bump in the road.

Everyone struggles sometimes. Instead of spiralling or shutting down, take a moment to reflect. What didn’t work this time? Was it your study approach, time management, or even just a rough week? Use it as a learning moment, not a label. Growth often starts with mistakes, not perfect scores.

6. Practise self-compassion on tough days

Everyone has days when things don’t go to plan. Maybe you fell behind, said something you regret, or just felt completely off. It’s easy to beat yourself up, but being kind to yourself in those moments is far more powerful.

Try reminding yourself that you’re doing your best and what you did is enough for the day. Self-compassion means treating yourself the way you’d treat a friend—without harsh judgment or pressure to be perfect. 

7. Learn the language of your emotions

Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not doesn’t help anyone. Start naming your emotions more clearly, like disappointed, embarrassed, frustrated, or anxious. This self-awareness can help you identify your needs and communicate them.

Therapists often use tools like the “emotion wheel” to help teens build this emotional vocabulary, and it can make a huge difference in how you relate to others and yourself.

8. Use social media with boundaries

Spending time online can be fun, but it can also leave you feeling like you’re not doing enough or missing out. That fear of missing out or FOMO is common, especially when it looks like everyone else is living their best life.

But remember: most people only post the highlights, not the struggles. If social media starts to affect your mood or self-esteem, try setting time limits, unfollowing accounts that bring you down, or taking a short break. Protecting your peace is more important than keeping up.

9. Spend time with people who make you feel safe and seen

Not all friends are good for your mental health. Notice how you feel after spending time with certain people. Do they leave you drained or uplifted? You deserve relationships where you don’t have to perform or pretend. If you’re stuck in toxic dynamics, therapy can help you navigate setting boundaries or letting go.

10. Respect your body, but not just for how it looks

Your body is your brain’s best friend. Sleep, nutrition, and movement all play a role in how you think and feel. Prioritise at least eight hours of sleep, drink water, move your body regularly, and eat food that fuels you.

Sometimes, just going for a walk or having a balanced meal can help stabilise your mood. And if body image and self-esteem issues are affecting your mental health, therapy can provide a safe space to explore these feelings and the thoughts that reinforce them.

11. Celebrate effort, not just results

It's easy to only feel good when you get a high grade or win something. But the effort you put in, the hours of studying, asking for help, facing your fears? That’s what truly matters.

Recognising your effort builds resilience and internal motivation, both of which are keys to thriving. Trying to be perfect is exhausting. Instead, focus on getting a little bit better each day. Maybe it’s handing in an assignment on time this week. Or managing your anxiety without a meltdown. Small wins are still wins. Perfection is a myth, and it’s progress that moves you forward.

12. Make time for things that have nothing to do with school

When school, grades, and social media take up most of your energy, it’s easy to forget who you are outside of all that. So set aside time for activities that make you feel like yourself.

You might enjoy drawing, skating, baking, gaming, playing chess, or making music. It doesn’t need to lead to a prize or an Instagram post. Just doing something for the joy of it can help you feel more grounded and give your mind a much-needed break.

13. Try new things, even if you’re not good at them

High school is a great time to explore your interests and find out what makes you feel alive. You might want to join a club, sign up for a sport, take an art class, or volunteer for something that matters to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re great at it or just starting out.

Trying something new helps build confidence and can lead to surprising discoveries about yourself. Some people even find their future career by following a small curiosity. What matters most is that you give yourself permission to try.

14. Stay clear of vices that create bigger problems

Vaping, alcohol, or misusing medication may feel like a way to numb stress, but they often create more anxiety and health issues in the long run.

Healthy coping takes practice, but it's worth it. If you’re already using substances to cope, talking to a therapist can help you understand the root causes and guide you toward safer alternatives.

15. Open up with someone you trust

If you're feeling overwhelmed, talking to someone can make a big difference. That person might be a parent or caregiver you trust, but it could also be someone else in your life, like a teacher, school counsellor, coach, or older sibling. Sometimes just being listened to is enough to feel more grounded and supported.

School counsellors can help with everyday challenges like stress, friendships, motivation, or planning ahead. Conversations are confidential, and you don’t have to figure out exactly what to say before you go in. If speaking face-to-face feels uncomfortable, check if your school offers phone or video appointments, or ask a parent about using a telehealth platform like Talked.

16. Know that you’re not alone, even when it feels like it

It’s easy to believe everyone else is doing better than you, but they’re not. So many other teens are feeling lost, overwhelmed, or unsure. Reaching out, whether to a good friend, a trusted adult, a school counsellor, or a therapist, can remind you that you’re not weird or broken. You’re human. And you don’t have to be alone in all your struggles.

High school is not just about grades or fitting in. It’s about becoming! You’re allowed to take your time, make mistakes, change your mind, and figure things out.

Your wellbeing matters more than your grades or the number of mates you make at school. So take care of yourself, notice your growth even when it feels slow, and reach out for support when you need it.