Why FOMO feels too real, and what to do about it

You’re lying in bed, mindlessly scrolling, and then you see it.

Someone’s on a beach somewhere, having fun with their family. Someone else just got accepted into their dream school. Your mate’s partying with people, and a part of you hopes you’d been invited.

Meanwhile, you’re still in your pyjamas, watching everyone else in their happier, more colourful lives.

That ache in your chest? That’s FOMO. It’s not just about missing out on fun, but also fearing that you’re missing out on life. And if you think you’re broken for feeling this way, we’re here to tell you that you’re not. Let’s unpack FOMO and how you can flip that feeling into something healthier for your mental health.

What is FOMO exactly?

FOMO stands for the “fear of missing out.” It’s that uncomfortable, restless feeling that you’re being left behind socially, emotionally, or even in terms of life milestones. It can creep in while watching others on your social media feed or even in real life. 

It isn’t just about being left out of events. It can be about feeling like you're missing out on a better version of life, a cooler friend group, or a more successful identity.

When you see people flexing their holidays, relationships, test scores, or “glow-ups” online, it’s easy to feel that you’re doing something wrong or you’re not doing enough.

It’s also worth noting that FOMO isn’t exclusive to teens or young adults. Anyone can experience FOMO, regardless of age or gender.

Is FOMO a serious thing?

FOMO is more than just buzzword on social media; it’s a psychologically recognised phenomenon. And although the term “FOMO” only gained popularity in 2004, the meaning behind it has existed way past the digital age.

Today, however, researchers have considered FOMO as a problematic attachment to social media—linked to issues like social comparison, anxiety, depression, interrupted sleep or sleep deprivation, and difficulties concentrating.

Several studies on FOMO have also helped researchers identify different kinds of FOMO, including:

• Fear of missing the ability to be interesting

• Fear of losing popularity

• Fear of missing valueable information

• Fear of missing a timely interaction

• Fear of missing the ability to keep followers

• Fear of leaving a good impression

• Fear of missing the sense of relatedness

More than feeling overwhelmed by FOMO, what can be dangerous are the negative thoughts, emotions, and emotional spiral that often come with it. Because most people only post the best parts of their lives online, it's easy to fall into upward comparison, where you see someone else as “better” and start questioning your own worth. Over time, this can take a real toll on your mental wellbeing, especially if those feelings go unspoken or unsupported.

Should we blame social media?

Social media isn’t the only reason FOMO exists, but it plays a big part. Most platforms are designed to show off the most exciting, filtered, and “perfect” parts of people’s lives. What you see is rarely the full story. Behind every polished post are dozens of deleted photos, and often, someone who’s feeling just as unsure or insecure as you.

Seeing people brag or flex every day can feel too much. You might see a soft-launch of a new relationship, a gym glow-up, or someone casually posting an expensive outfit. Often, it’s less about sharing and more about chasing likes, DMs, or compliments. It blurs the line between connection and competition.

It’s not just people, either. Brands and influencers know how to spark FOMO on purpose. They use things like limited drops, countdowns, and phrases like “don’t miss out” to make you feel like you're behind if you don't act quickly. This isn’t just marketing—it’s pressure, and it’s designed to mess with your attention and emotions.

In some cases, FOMO can even lead to cyberbullying. People might be left out of group chats, skipped in photo tags, or intentionally excluded from stories. That kind of exclusion doesn’t just make you feel left out. It can also feel like rejection.

Why FOMO is harder for some people

FOMO can feel more overwhelming for certain individuals. If you’ve experienced exclusion, loneliness, or bullying in the past, you might be more sensitive to the fear of being left out again. For some, FOMO triggers old hurts about not being liked, invited, or included.

People who are neurodivergent, such as those with ADHD or autism, may also find FOMO uniquely challenging. Decision fatigue, emotional intensity, or sensory overload can make it hard to participate in social life as others expect.

When everyone else seems to “get it” and you don’t, the sense of missing out can go deeper than just a party. It can feel like you don’t belong. 

How to stop FOMO when it hits

FOMO can sneak up fast. One minute you’re fine, and the next, you’re deep in a scroll spiral, watching people who seem happier, cooler, or more "on track" than you.

Here’s how you can take back control:

1. Notice what the feeling is really about

When FOMO hits, take a moment to pause and ask yourself what’s really going on. Are you feeling left out, insecure, or like you’re not doing enough? FOMO often masks deeper emotions—like wanting to feel included, seen, or confident in where you’re headed. Naming the feeling helps you understand it, instead of letting it spiral.

Once you’ve named it, choose a small action that supports you. That might be journaling, talking to a friend, taking a break from your feed, or doing something that brings you back into your own life. You don’t need to match what others are doing. You just need to acknowledge where you’re at and take care of yourself from there.

2. Step back from your feed and set boundaries with it

Taking a break from social media, even if it’s just for a day or a few hours, can help you reset your thoughts. If certain posts or accounts leave you feeling worse about yourself, it’s okay to mute, unfollow, or even remove them.

You don’t need to keep watching things that chip away at your confidence. Keep in mind that you’re allowed to protect your own mental space.

3. Don’t let comparison erase your own highlights

Maybe you finally posted something you’re proud of, only to see someone else share something bigger, flashier, or more popular. Suddenly, your moment feels small, and it hurts.

But your wins still count. Just because someone else is getting more attention doesn’t make your progress any less real. In fact, regularly celebrating your own efforts helps train your brain—thanks to something called neuroplasticity. The more you focus on your own growth, the more your brain strengthens those pathways, making it easier to feel proud, confident, and less caught in comparison over time.

4. Find genuine connections offline

One of the best ways to quiet FOMO is to build healthy connections in real life. Spend time with a friend who feels easy and light to be with. Hang out with your family, even if it’s just for a movie or a quick chat.

If you’re feeling disconnected, think about joining a club, sport, or workshop that aligns with your interests. You can ask a parent or carer to help you find something outside of school where you can meet new people and explore what you enjoy. Being around others who share your interests can help you feel more seen and less alone.

5. Talk to someone you trust

If you’re finding it hard to manage these feelings on your own, that’s okay. Talk to a parent, teacher, older sibling, or someone else you trust. You don’t have to have all the answers.

And if FOMO is leaving you feeling anxious, low, or constantly on edge, therapy can help. A therapist is someone you can speak to without pressure or judgement, and they can help you untangle the thoughts that feel too big to carry by yourself.

6. Say yes to what feels right, and no to what doesn’t

You don’t have to say yes to everything just to avoid missing out. Ask yourself, "Do I really want this, or am I just afraid to be left behind?"

When you choose what feels right for you, not just what’s popular or expected, you start building self-trust. Over time, that trust becomes louder than the fear of missing out.

Final thoughts

FOMO is a loud voice, but it’s not always a truthful one. It feeds off comparison, distraction, and insecurity. But it can also teach you something valuable about what you long for, what you value, and what parts of you want healing or attention.

You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Even if you’re not in crisis, talking to someone you trust—a parent, a teacher, a counsellor, or a therapist—can help. Sometimes, just saying things out loud is enough to take the weight off.

You don’t need to keep up with everyone else or prove your worth to feel like you matter. You already do. And the more you focus on your own path, the quieter that fear of missing out will become.