Conflict resolution techniques for relationships and the workplace

Every relationship bumps into a conflict at some point. It’s part of being around other people with different needs, opinions, and ways of doing things.

But what really matters is how you handle those moments. Do you avoid them, let things build up, or try to work through them together?

A closer look at conflicts

Conflict arises when you feel your needs, values, or interests are being overlooked or challenged.

At home, that tension might come from feeling disconnected, disagreeing about priorities or struggling to share responsibilities. In the workplace, it often stems from unclear roles, power imbalances or breakdowns in communication.

Conflicts in close relationships tend to carry more weight. When you care deeply about someone, even small disagreements can stir up strong feelings like frustration, hurt, or confusion. These situations can be especially difficult if you're already under pressure from other areas of life, such as work stress, financial concerns or health issues.

It’s a common misconception that conflict is a sign that something is broken or you have to step away from the relationship. In reality, it often signals that something meaningful needs attention, and addressing it often results in a closer, stronger relationship you might not have predicted.

If approaching conflicts feels unnatural to you, the techniques below might help.

However, if you ever feel unsafe, controlled, or threatened, or if someone has harmed you, this is not just a conflict. It may be abuse. In these situations, your safety comes first. Please contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) for confidential support, or call emergency services on 000 if you or someone else is in immediate danger.

Conflict resolution in relationships

1. Try to stay emotionally present

It’s tempting to shut down or go into autopilot during tense moments. But being emotionally present and really tuning in to what’s happening for you and your partner can help stop the conversation from spiralling.

This might mean noticing your own reactions, paying attention to their body language, and staying open even when the topic is uncomfortable.

A calm tone and eye contact can also go a long way. If things start to feel too heated, it’s okay to pause and agree to come back to the conversation when you’ve both had a moment to reset.

2. Gently call out passive patterns

Passive-aggressive behaviours like sarcasm, stonewalling, or doing things half-heartedly can often be signs of deeper frustration. They tend to show up when it doesn’t feel safe to speak openly, but gentle curiosity can help defuse the tension.

Instead of calling them out with frustration, try saying something like, “I noticed you felt defensive when I brought up what offended me. Can we talk about what’s underneath?”

Of course, having a meaningful conversation requires both partners to wholeheartedly cooperate, and it might take time - or even external support like relationship therapy - to arrive at that place.

3. Speak from your own experience

Using “I” statements can shift a tense conversation into something more productive. For example, instead of “You never listen,” try “I feel unheard when I bring something up and it’s dismissed quickly.”

This approach focuses on your own experience rather than assigning blame, which makes it easier for your partner to stay engaged rather than get defensive.

4. Keep the conversation contained

Not every disagreement needs to turn into a deep dive. Try to stay focused on one issue at a time. Agree to take breaks if things escalate, and check in later when you're both calmer.

A simple “Is this a good time to talk?” can help make sure the conversation starts in the right headspace. You can even agree on a shared cue, like a word or hand gesture, that either of you can use when things feel too overwhelming.

5. Share the weight of external stress

Sometimes the conflict isn’t really about each other but about what’s happening around you, like financial pressure, work stress, or anger towards someone else.

When that happens, try to shift from “me vs you” to “us vs the problem.” A simple reframing like this can bring you back onto the same team.

Conflict resolution in the workplace

Handling conflicts at work is different from how you handle issues with a partner or at home. Professionalism and maturity are always expected, even when the person you had a conflict with isn’t exactly acting professionally.

Regardless, it’s best to stay composed, have heartfelt conversations if needed, and make sure to align with your company’s policies.

1. Stay in the conversation, even when it’s uncomfortable

It’s normal to want to withdraw or defend yourself during conflict, especially if the conversation becomes tense. But staying present, both mentally and emotionally, can shift the tone.

Try to slow the pace, breathe, and resist the urge to interrupt. If the other person is struggling to explain themselves, you can say something like, "Take your time. I want to understand where you’re coming from." This encourages openness and shows you’re invested in finding a way forward.

2. Use reflective listening to clarify and connect

Reflective listening means repeating back what you think the other person is saying, in your own words. It can sound like, "So you're feeling under pressure because the deadlines haven’t been clear. Is that right?"

While this might feel formal at first, it helps prevent misunderstandings and reassures the other person that you’re really listening. It also gives them a chance to correct or clarify if needed, which can clear up a lot of tension quickly.

3. Find a common ground before discussing solutions

Jumping to solutions too quickly can feel dismissive, especially if emotions are still high. 

Once both sides have shared their views, pause to acknowledge where you agree. For example, "It sounds like we both want to avoid miscommunication and keep things running smoothly." This small step reinforces collaboration and makes the next part of the conversation, that is, deciding what to do next, feel less adversarial.

4. Agree on a next step, then follow through

A resolution doesn’t need to be perfect or final, but it needs to be clear enough to move forward. You might agree to redistribute certain tasks, have more regular check-ins, or loop in a third person if needed.

Whatever you decide, follow-through is essential. Even a small action that shows you’re taking the conversation seriously can rebuild trust and prevent future issues from escalating.

5. Use support systems when needed

Sometimes a conflict goes beyond what two people can resolve on their own. If the issue involves ongoing tension, repeated patterns of avoidance, or power imbalances, it may be time to bring in a manager, HR representative, or external mediator. 

When to involve external support

You may have tried new ways of talking,  set clearer plans, or made adjustments to please the other person, but you still find yourself stuck. That is a clear signal that external support could help.

Here are other situations where you might need extra support:

• The same argument keeps coming up over and over

• You feel emotionally drained, unseen, unsafe, or like carrying too much

• At home: repeated passive‑aggressive behaviour, weaponised incompetence, emotional unavailability

• At work: hidden tension, bullying, consistent unwillingness to engage or open up

Bringing in a couples counsellor, a workplace mediator, or a conflict coach can be a healthy step if you relate with any of the situations above. A professional brings tools, perspective, and structure that you may not be able to create alone.

Final thoughts

No one enjoys dealing with conflict, especially when it involves people you work with or care about deeply. But avoiding it rarely makes things better. Often, it just leaves you carrying unspoken tension that builds over time.

You don’t need to have the perfect words or the perfect timing. What matters is being willing to stay in the conversation and approach it with care both for yourself and for the other person.

If this feels hard to do on your own, speaking with a therapist or mediator can give you the support and tools to navigate it differently. Sometimes, just having someone to guide you can be deeply empowering as you do the hard thing and resist simply walking away.