200+ questions to get to know someone deeply

Gentle, light-hearted questions can turn ordinary moments into real chances to connect. 

This resource features 200 questions to get to know someone, beginning with light-hearted, easy-to-answer prompts, then unfolding into more thoughtful categories. These are questions you'll return to again and again.

Everyday joys & little pleasures

1. What made you smile today?

2. Which simple ritual brings you comfort?

3. Describe your ideal lazy afternoon.

4. What little indulgence are you always looking forward to?

5. Which habit do you love, and which one do you wish you could change?

6. What morning routine makes you feel most like yourself?

7. Do you have a fun fact you love sharing about yourself?

8. What moment gave you the best laugh recently?

9. How do you recharge if you have alone time?

10. What’s your go-to way to hang out with friends?

11. Which song or sound always lifts your mood?

12. Recall a meal that tasted better than expected—who did you share it with?

13. Which cosy scent or aroma instantly brings you joy?

14. What show, book or movie are you hooked on right now, and why?

15. What small act made your day easier recently?

16. What treat or snack do you go for after a long day?

17. What view or place brings you peace in a moment?

18. Share a silly moment that still makes you smile.

19. What’s something unexpected that brightened your day?

20. What sound or sight makes you feel settled instantly?

21. What quick activity cheers you up no matter what?

22. Which simple pleasure feels uniquely you?

23. What little distraction always makes you smile?

24. What smell transports you back to a great memory?

25. Which joke or pun always cracks you up?

Light-hearted curiosity & quirky fun

1. If you could teleport to lunch anywhere, where would it be?

2. What fun hobby would you take up tomorrow if you had time?

3. Which food from another culture would you love to try making?

4. If your pet could talk, what would you ask them?

5. Which fictional world would you visit just for a day?

6. What’s your hidden party trick or karaoke go-to?

7. What’s the funniest thing that’s happened in the last week?

8. If you could only eat one cuisine for a week, what would it be?

9. If your life had a theme song, what would it be?

10. What’s a small adventure you'd love to have this year?

11. What’s the silliest thing you believed as a child?

12. Which movie character's outfit would you borrow for a day?

13. Share a place that left you breathless in a good way.

14. Do you doodle or daydream? What often comes to mind?

15. If you were an animal for a day, which would you pick?

16. Share a random fact you’ve learned recently and found fascinating.

17. If you could go to any event, past or future, which would you choose?

18. What’s your favourite way to let your mind wander?

19. Who’s someone who always makes you laugh? And why?

20. If you could have one superpower today, what would it be?

21. Which flavour best describes your personality, and why?

22. What’s a quirky habit you secretly enjoy?

23. If you could pop into someone’s day to ask one thing, who would it be and what would you ask?

24. Which childhood memory still makes you giggle?

25. If you had to live in a cartoon world, which would you choose?

Memories & identity

1. What’s your happiest school memory?

2. What hobby did you love as a kid that you still remember fondly?

3. Who did you look up to as a child, and what did they teach you?

4. If you could send a note to your younger self, what would you write?

5. Which smell or sight brings you right back to childhood?

6. Did you ever have a nickname? What did it mean?

7. What childhood habit are you glad you outgrew?

8. What family tradition means a lot to you?

9. What book or story shaped your view of the world?

10. What was your first job, and what did it teach you?

11. Which fear as a kid did you manage to move past?

12. Which place from your early life still holds meaning for you?

13. What’s a childhood object you’d love to still own?

14. What was your dream job as a child?

15. Which memory makes you laugh every time you think about it?

16. What would your younger self say about how you’re doing now?

17. Who outside your family inspired you as a kid?

18. What’s a class activity or project you’re still proud of?

19. What hobby from childhood do you still think about?

20. Which memory do you think shaped your sense of humour?

21. Have you ever written in a diary? What’s one memory you remember writing about?

22. What story did your family tell over and over, and still makes you smile?

23. Which summer memory stands out most?

24. How would you describe your younger self in three words?

25. Which childhood promise did you keep or still laugh about?

26. What feel-good memory from home makes you pause?

27. Which photo of yours is most nostalgic, and why?

28. Were you ever in a school play or performance? What was your role?

29. If you revisited your old neighbourhood, how would it feel?

30. How have your favourite childhood values lived on in your current life?

31. Which memory resurfaced this week that made you smile?

32. Which early lesson still guides your values today?

33. What’s one thing your younger self would be proud of you for?

34. If you could revisit a childhood place, which would you choose?

35. What did you imagine your adult life would be like, and how does it compare now?

Personal growth & self-reflection

1. What mistake taught you something unexpected?

2. Which personal quality are you most proud of?

3. What’s a habit you’re working to improve?

4. What moment changed how you see yourself?

5. What do you wish people really understood about you?

6. If you could revisit one decision, what would it be?

7. Which habit grounds you, and which one gets in your way?

8. When were you most pushed outside your comfort zone, and what did you learn?

9. How do you manage workplace stress or burnout?

10. What makes you feel good when FOMO kicks in?

11. What does being genuinely kind mean to you?

12. What feedback shaped who you are today?

13. Have you changed a belief recently, and what replaced it?

14. When did you surprise yourself in the best way?

15. What boundary did you set that made your life better?

16. What phrase or motto keeps you going on hard days?

17. Which act of self-kindness helped you recently?

18. When did you feel most at peace this month?

19. What’s the bravest thing you’ve done lately?

20. What did failure teach you that success didn’t?

21. How do you practice active listening when conversation gets tough?

22. What helps you recognise physical signs of burnout and act on them?

23. What helps you decide if something is a genuine connection?

24. What helped you recover from a friendship breakup?

25. How does your attachment style show up in friendships or romance?

26. How do you balance supporting others and protecting your own energy?

27. What value are you most proud of passing on to someone else?

28. How have you learned to trust yourself again after being hurt?

29. What shift did moving from fear to resilience look like for you?

30. What’s the gentlest way to reconnect when distance has grown between friends?

31. What practice makes burnout easier to notice early on?

32. How do you soothe yourself when you’re overwhelmed or anxious?

33. What insight did you gain from your last significant conversation?

34. What’s a small self-care act you try to do every day?

35. How do you make sure your needs are heard when you've felt overlooked?

36. What question helps you tune into how you’re really feeling?

37. What reminder do you need when you’re too hard on yourself?

38. Which goal you’ve achieved surprised you the most?

39. What lessons did you learn from moving past a difficult choice?

40. What helped you build trust in yourself after a friendship breakup?

41. What helps you recharge after a burnout phase?

42. Which area of your life deserves more self‑compassion?

43. How do you celebrate progress instead of perfection?

44. Have you ever found yourself in survival mode? How did you cope?

45. What’s the most meaningful way someone asked how you’re doing, and how did that impact you?

Aspirations, values, community

1. What's a goal you're quietly proud of chasing?

2. If money wasn’t an issue, how would you fill your week?

3. In a year, where might you see yourself?

4. What's one wish you have right now?

5. Who would you love to sit down with for a coffee? Why?

6. What would you want said at your eulogy?

7. How would you hope someone describes you in five words?

8. Which fictional character do you feel most like?

9. What adventure has pride of place on your bucket list?

10. What place captured your heart instantly and why?

11. What long-term project fuels your energy?

12. What would your dream home feel or look like?

13. What skill are you quietly determined to master?

14. Which cause or advocacy stirs you to act?

15. What's a bucket list item that might surprise others?

16. When do you feel most truly alive—and what triggers that?

17. What legacy do you hope to leave behind?

18. Is there something you’d like to experience before turning fifty?

19. What dream of someone else inspired you recently?

20. What new chapter in your life are you most ready to explore next?

21. What value guides how you show up every day?

22. What makes a friendship meaningful to you now?

23. How do you define success in work, life, and relationships?

24. What brings true meaning to your life?

25. What’s shaped your political view, and how has that evolved?

26. What does being Australian mean to you?

27. Which value do you want to pass to others?

28. How do spirituality or mindfulness fit into your life?

29. Where do you feel you belong—locally or beyond?

30. What social cause moves you to act?

31. How does community add to your sense of wellbeing?

32. Which cultural or generational lesson still speaks to you?

33. What ethical challenge shaped who you are today?

34. What does justice look or feel like to you?

35. Is there a belief you hold that others wouldn’t expect?

36. When did your worldview get gently (or wildly) challenged?

37. How do you interpret ‘living a good life’?

38. How do independence and connection work for you in balance?

39. What does nature teach you about patience or peace?

40. Which tradition, new or old, means the most to you?

Love, emotional closeness, reflection 

1. What’s a lesson in connection you treasure most?

2. When have you felt seen in the sweetest way?

3. How do you show love, and how are you best loved in return?

4. How does your attachment style show up in how you ask for care?

5. When did someone make you feel emotionally safe?

6. Can friendships across genders stay purely platonic in your view?

7. What act of kindness has stuck with you the longest?

8. What’s the most unexpected thing you've done for someone you care about?

9. Which pattern in past relationships do you choose to move beyond?

10. What emotional boundary has helped you more than you expected?

11. What’s your favourite romantic memory?

12. What do people misunderstand about how you love?

13. What does being vulnerable mean to you?

14. How do you rebuild trust after it's been shaken?

15. What love language resonates best with how you show or feel love?

16. When were you supported in a way that changed you?

17. How do you handle emotional disagreements when tension is high?

18. Which relationship taught you who you are today?

19. How have you practised forgiveness in hard times?

20. What’s a connection milestone you treasure?

21. How do you stay emotionally connected when life rushes by?

22. What personality types do you find most interesting?

23. How do you ask for what you need emotionally, especially when it's hard?

24. Which friendship made you feel as close as romantic love?

25. How do you decide which old friends to stay close to?

26. What helps you feel safe in a romantic relationship?

27. What does being a caring listener look like to you?

28. Is it easy or hard for you to communicate when you’re angry at someone?

29. What helps you feel better when you’re frustrated or disappointed?

30. Which question here invites the most stillness within you? 

Final thoughts

Great connections require intentional effort to get to know each other, offer empathy, and show up when needed. Asking getting-to-know questions can be a great starter, even for long-term partners who want to explore each other’s worries, dreams, or even their childhood or past.

If certain topics feel tough to bring up, or you catch yourself in an unhealthy thought or emotional spiral when a relationship starts to blossom, it might be worth seeing a psychologist who can support and guide you.

They can help you explore things like communication habits, emotional boundaries, or how your attachment style or past experiences might be shaping your relationships.

No matter how or when you use these questions, take it at your own pace, be open to where the conversation goes, and enjoy the moments of connection that come from simply asking and listening.